Homeschooling Days
“Children learn from anything and everything they see. They learn wherever they are, not just in special learning places.” -John Holt
The room is ready. Desks are arranged with all the supplies and the book carts full of this year's curriculum are sitting close at hand. Pretty pictures hang on the walls along with a whiteboard ready for lessons. ABC’s and 123’s strung around the ceiling waiting for little ones to point at as they learn.
That’s how I pictured my homeschool room when I began to imagine what schooling my granddaughter would look like. She was only two so I had plenty of time to decide. But, we lived in an apartment at that time. We moved to a house a few years later and I began, once again, to imagine what homeschooling her would be like. Boy, reality couldn’t have been further from the dream.
She used that area to play with Legos. Reading was done while she was upside down on the couch. Don’t even get me started on the wiggles we fought every day during writing time! And math…most lessons ended up with one, or both of us, in tears. More on that in a bit.
I’ve learned over the years that homeschooling looks different for each family…and that’s okay. It can even look different from one child to another in your family. One student may be completely self-motivated while another needs you looking over his shoulder all…day…long.
Today, I wanted to share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned over the years to hopefully save some of the tears and frustration. If nothing else, to at least let you know, Mama, you are not alone in this journey.
School Space
One of the biggest reality shifts I needed to embrace was the fact that the homeschool area we used wasn’t going to look like all the images I had pinned on my Pinterest board. In fact, the first space we had was a little area cleaned out behind the couch in the living room. There was a bookshelf and a desk, which she sometimes sat at for lessons. The area was mainly used for Lego building and painting. Like I said, lessons were done at the kitchen table and reading was done on the couch, with her usually hanging upside down! Not at all what I had imagined. Experience taught me to reevaluate what a "proper" study space looks like:
Ask your student: If your child is old enough, get them involved in the learning area. If they have a say in what the area looks like, they will be more comfortable using the space.
Embrace the Space: Sometimes, a bookshelf holding all the books is all that the “learning space” entails. I know plenty of homeschooling families that work around the dining or living room table. Others have an amazing area set up or a room solely dedicated to learning. Reality is so far removed from Pinterest…and that’s okay.
We had a dedicated schoolroom. About 70% of the work was done around our kitchen island. My granddaughter preferred to be out with me versus in the schoolroom alone. Talk with your family, get the kids involved. The best workspace is the space where work gets done!
Curriculum Curiosity
Most moms I’ve talked with all admit to having curriculum envy. We all do it! We think we have the best curriculum for our kids and then we see something shiny and think, “OH MY! I HAVE GOT TO HAVE THIS!” It then sits on your shelf collecting dust until you get tired of looking at it and put it up for sale on Facebook Marketplace! Here are some things to consider when choosing curriculum:
Learning Style: Again, get your students involved. Even the littlest one will know what excites them when learning. I used to buy the next shiny thing thinking, “This is just what E needs”. We would get halfway through the workbook, fighting every step of the way, and then I’d give up. You should see all the workbooks I’ve saved for evaluations!
Teaching Style: Yep, you need to consider that as well. Do you need an “open and go” curriculum? Are you more of a fly by the seat of your pants person? Maybe somewhere in between? There are all sorts of curriculums out there, from Abeka textbook styles to unschooling. You can find some curriculum for free or pay $1,000+ depending on the grade, there’s something for every price point. If one curriculum doesn’t work out, there’s a thousand more to try. Be real and honest with yourself and give yourself some grace when things don’t go according to plan. Moms will tell you that teaching their littles is the toughest, most rewarding job there is.
Online Learning- There are as many online schooling options as there are printed curriculum. Again, assess what you think will work for your family. Are you a working mom who would love to homeschool but doesn’t think she can? Most school districts offer an online version of classes. In Florida we have Florida Virtual School (FLVS).
Co-Ops: Check Facebook for local co-op groups. Some are just for socialization, others may offer a day or two of classes each week or month, and still others have weekly class offerings where there is a curriculum and someone, usually another parent, teaches and homework is assigned.
Balancing Work and Play
School days: One of the best things about homeschooling is that we get to tailor our child’s education to what works best for them…and us. Having a schedule, even a rough layout, of your day helps keep everyone on track. It doesn’t matter if you wake up and jump right in or take a bit for the kiddos to wake up and eat breakfast, kids need some structure to their days. Especially little ones.
Life Skills days: As an experienced homeschooler, I’ve learned that EVERYTHING is a learning experience. Going grocery shopping? Have littles find items from your list. Older students can be given a list and budget to learn math skills. They can even be your sous chef when preparing dinner - everyday math at its finest. Going on a trip? Teach littles how to read a map. Older students can map out the route and figure out mileage and gas. If you’re stopping along the way, let students figure out hotel or AirBnB stays.
Boundaries: For some strange reason, people think that, because you homeschool, you should be available to do things at any given time. I fell prey to this years ago. We were so busy doing all the things that we never got any actual schoolwork done. Set boundaries and don’t feel guilty when you have to say “No” to some things. It’s okay.
Grace in the Daily Struggle
Give yourself grace. Give your students grace. It is a learning process for both of you. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. In our house we call them dips….mind the dips.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you and support you, especially during the dips.
You will have doubts. Not one homeschooling mom in my circle hasn’t doubted: herself, her abilities, or her choices.
The struggles are real, but so are the rewards—seeing the light of understanding in your homeschooler's eyes, witnessing their growth, and cultivating a love for learning that will last a lifetime. In the end, it is so worth the effort.
Again, give yourself Grace! None of us are perfect, but our kids will be better prepared for life. And after all, isn’t that what parenting is all about?
Embrace the Journey
My son was “easy”. He was a teenager and independent. AND I didn’t know much about homeschooling back then, we’re talking 20+ years ago. There weren’t as many options back then.
I was so scared when I first started homeschooling my granddaughter. This time around, the stress was almost palpable. I was responsible for teaching her foundational skills–reading, writing, and math! My doubts and insecurities surface almost daily. I don’t know how teachers in charge of 25 or more littles do it each day! They are true heroes in my book.
Communication
One final piece of advice – it’s probably the most important one! Communication! In every aspect, include your child(ren) in the decision making process.
The first three years of our homeschooling experience was hit or miss at best. Like I said earlier, most days math ended with one or both of us in tears.
Then, one day in second grade, I’d had enough. We’d spent weeks going back and forth with math. I felt like I was killing her desire to learn. I just couldn’t fathom why she was having such a hard time with adding doubles (2+2, 4+4) together. Easy enough, right?
We were struggling with 8+8. Well, truth be told, we’d been struggling the whole day and tears had already been shed–by both of us. My frustration was at an all time high!
Something told me to stop and ask her what she saw when she looked at this problem. I was blown away by her answer. I can still remember it 8 years later.
She said, “Well, 8+8 is 10+10-2-2! And the colors keep changing.”
Huh? The colors keep changing? After digging a bit more, I discovered that not only did she process differently than I did, but that she had synesthesia (the easiest explanation is that when she sees a number she sees it as a specific color ie: two was green). And I only knew synesthesia was a thing because of a documentary on gifted children I had watched years earlier.
The bottom line is…had I not taken the time (eventually) to sit and talk with her, I imagine we’d still be struggling to this day with math.
Remember, communication isn’t just about talking, it’s about active listening and understanding what is being said. As she’s gotten older, we have conversations about curriculum choices every year…and sometimes during the year if something isn’t working. We have conversations about her lessons daily. I’ve learned over the years that she won’t necessarily volunteer information. I have to take the time to engage with her.
As this blog comes to an end, I want to leave you with this reminder: the reality of our homeschool days may not look anything like what we had envisioned–and that’s okay. It’s more than okay, it’s part of our messy, beautiful lives. You may have to contend with wiggly children, lessons interrupted, and schooling in a car, but that is just a testament to the uniqueness that each family brings to the table. This is an incredible adventure for everyone involved. Celebrate every win and seize every dip as the learning opportunity it can be.
Watching a child’s eyes light up when they “get” something is payment beyond words and a validation to you as the teacher that YOU are enough. You are enough!
